I blamed my wife for our messy house, I was wrong for many reason

 July 21
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I was building shelves in my garage when a neighbor girl, one of my 4-year-old daughter’s friends, approached me and said, “I just saw in your house. It’s pretty dirty. Norah’s mommy needs to clean more.”

“Some people find comments like that rude,” I said.

The little girl looked at me with a snarky smile and said, “yup!”

What really sucks about what 5-year-olds say is that they are 100 percent honest. And indeed, our house was a mess. At the time, I could probably have listed a million reasons to explain our clutter piles, random installments of underwear, laundry baskets full of clean laundry sitting precariously in the middle of the living room, and so on. There always seems to be a bracelet loom, a couple dolls, a play dough kit, and a few dirty dishes on the table.

We always have random kids hanging out in our living room, or on the porch, eating our food, and making messes by getting out our toys and not putting them back. We also just had a new baby, probably the biggest (and best) reason for our messy house.

But none of those excuses really matter, because there seems to be no justifiable excuse for having a messy house.

There are people with messier houses. I’ve seen them. And when I was young, I’d go to these houses, and say rotten things like, “I just saw in your house. It’s pretty dirty.”

Then I’d run home, and tell my mother about it, and we’d laugh and judge these messy house people. My mother would say things like, “Doesn’t she care about her kids? Or her home?”

It always came down to blaming the mother.

I suppose I know this because I, too, used to blame my wife for our messy house.

Shortly after she became a stay-at-home mom, I started getting really judgmental. I started looking at the state of the house and thinking, “You have one job! One job! To take care of the home.”

I never considered the fact that kids just don’t care if you dust. They’ll drop Cheerios anyway. When I was a stay-at-home dad, I’d sweep beneath the table, and 10 minutes later, it was dirty again. I’d have the kids put their toys away before bed, and by morning, before I even got up, they were back out.

I don’t want to speak for your kids, but my kids are remarkable mess makers.

What I discovered was that taking care of the home is actually a collection of a million full-time jobs. My wife is a housekeeper, disciplinarian, teacher, nurse, chauffeur, comforter, cook, part-time student, school volunteer, neighborhood caregiver, and more.

A few years ago, Mel and I got into an argument about the house. I told her it was embarrassing. I asked her what she did all day. “It really can’t be that hard to keep the house clean,” I said.

We got into a huge fight. Mel told me that I needed to realize what she was up against. And then she told me something that really hit home. She said, “Sometimes it comes down between cleaning the house, and taking Tristan and Norah to the park. Or spending time having fun with them, or teaching them to read or write. Sometimes I can either do the dishes, or teach our son how to ride a bike, or our daughter how to walk. I’d rather do those things, frankly. I’d rather not be that mom who ignores our kids, and myself, because I’m so busy worrying about what the neighbors might think of our messy house.”

I stopped looking at the dirty dishes, assuming that they were evidence of Mel sitting around all day. Instead, I got up myself and started washing the dishes. I realized that this was not her mess, but our mess, and I started pitching in more.

I stopped worrying about the house, and started paying attention to the development of our children. I started to pay attention to how happy they were, and the kind of relationship they shared with their mother, and I noticed that we have a messy house, and really happy, bright kids.

I’m not saying that if you have a clean house, you are doing something wrong. But what I am saying is that I don’t judge my wife for teaching my son how to swim, rather than vacuuming the living room. I don’t judge her for potty training my daughter rather than clearing the table. And I don’t think you should look down on stay-at-home moms with a messy house, because chances are, they are using that time wisely.

[X]

(via ohbitchyouwary)

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ohbitchyouwary:

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Candy Corn and White Chocolate Chip Softbatch Cookies



INGREDIENTS:

1/2 cup unsalted butter, soften3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed1/4 cup granulated sugar1 large egg1 tablespoon vanilla extract2 tablespoons cream or half-and-half2 cups all-purpose flour2 teaspoons corn starch1 teaspoon baking sodapinch salt, optional and to taste1 1/2 cups candy corn (1o to 11 ounces)1 cup white chocolate chips



DIRECTIONS:
To the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or large bowl and electric hand mixer), cream together the first 5 ingredients (through vanilla) on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.
Stop, scrape down the sides of the bowl, and add the next 5 ingredients (through optional salt), and mix on low speed until just incorporated, about 1 minute; don’t overmix.
Add the candy corn, white chocolate chips, and mix until just incorporated.
Using a medium 2-inch cookie scoop, form heaping two-tablespoon mounds (I made 20). Place mounds on a large plate, flatten mounds slightly, cover with plasticwrap, and refrigerate for at least 3 hours, or up to 5 days, before baking. Do not bake with warm dough because cookies will spread and bake thinner and flatter. Important note - Strategically place candy corn so that it’s not baking directly on cookie sheet because it will melt, burn, or turn runny if it is. The candy corn pieces need to be in the interior of the cookies, shielded and buffered by dough.
Preheat oven to 350F, line a baking sheet with a Silpat or spray with cooking spray. Place mounds on baking sheet, spaced at least 2 inches apart (I bake 8 cookies per sheet) and bake for about 9 minutes, or until edges have set and tops are just beginning to set, even if slightly undercooked, pale and glossy in the center. Do not overbake because cookies will firm up as they cool. Baking longer than 10 minutes could result in cookies with overly browned undersides. Allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet  for about 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to finish cooking. Cookies will keep airtight at room temperature for up to 1 week or in the freezer for up to 4 months. Unbaked cookie dough can be stored airtight in the refrigerator for up to 5 days, or frozen for up to 4 months, so consider baking only as many cookies as desired and save the remaining dough to be baked in the future when desired.

Candy Corn and White Chocolate Chip Softbatch Cookies

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 cup unsalted butter, soften
3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons cream or half-and-half
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons corn starch
1 teaspoon baking soda
pinch salt, optional and to taste
1 1/2 cups candy corn (1o to 11 ounces)
1 cup white chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS:

  1. To the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or large bowl and electric hand mixer), cream together the first 5 ingredients (through vanilla) on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.
  2. Stop, scrape down the sides of the bowl, and add the next 5 ingredients (through optional salt), and mix on low speed until just incorporated, about 1 minute; don’t overmix.
  3. Add the candy corn, white chocolate chips, and mix until just incorporated.
  4. Using a medium 2-inch cookie scoop, form heaping two-tablespoon mounds (I made 20). Place mounds on a large plate, flatten mounds slightly, cover with plasticwrap, and refrigerate for at least 3 hours, or up to 5 days, before baking. Do not bake with warm dough because cookies will spread and bake thinner and flatter. Important note - Strategically place candy corn so that it’s not baking directly on cookie sheet because it will melt, burn, or turn runny if it is. The candy corn pieces need to be in the interior of the cookies, shielded and buffered by dough.
  5. Preheat oven to 350F, line a baking sheet with a Silpat or spray with cooking spray. Place mounds on baking sheet, spaced at least 2 inches apart (I bake 8 cookies per sheet) and bake for about 9 minutes, or until edges have set and tops are just beginning to set, even if slightly undercooked, pale and glossy in the center. Do not overbake because cookies will firm up as they cool. Baking longer than 10 minutes could result in cookies with overly browned undersides. Allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet  for about 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to finish cooking. Cookies will keep airtight at room temperature for up to 1 week or in the freezer for up to 4 months. Unbaked cookie dough can be stored airtight in the refrigerator for up to 5 days, or frozen for up to 4 months, so consider baking only as many cookies as desired and save the remaining dough to be baked in the future when desired.

(Source: averiecooks.com)

cookies fall recipes candy corn white chocolate


Hippie Juice ~ Makes one full pitcher: 1/3 cup Triple Sec 1/3 cup Malibu 1 cup Strawberry Vodka 1/2 cap of Country Time Strawberry Lemonade Powder 1. Measure half a tops worth of the lemonade powder and add to your pitcher. 2. Measure all the alcohols, and add to the lemonade powder mix. 3. Top off the remainder of the pitcher with about 2 quarts of water (or until the container is filled). 4. Mix well until everything is dissolved. Chill and serve.

Sounds like the perfect summer time drink!!

Hippie Juice ~ Makes one full pitcher: 1/3 cup Triple Sec 1/3 cup Malibu 1 cup Strawberry Vodka 1/2 cap of Country Time Strawberry Lemonade Powder 1. Measure half a tops worth of the lemonade powder and add to your pitcher. 2. Measure all the alcohols, and add to the lemonade powder mix. 3. Top off the remainder of the pitcher with about 2 quarts of water (or until the container is filled). 4. Mix well until everything is dissolved. Chill and serve.

Sounds like the perfect summer time drink!!

(Source: sequinsandpearls.blogspot.com)

recipes drinks alcohol

Cookie Cake Pie

Ingredients:
·   2 frozen deep dish pie crusts
·   1 batch chocolate chip cookie dough
·   1 batch of your favorite cake mix (I used Funfetti!)
·   1 batch of buttercream (or any other flavor) buttercream

Preheat the oven to 350°
First prepare one batch of chocolate chip cookie dough
Ingredients:
·  2 1/4 cups flour
·  1 teaspoon baking soda
·  1 teaspoon salt
·  1 cup butter
·  3/4 cup granulated sugar
·  3/4 cup brown sugar
·  1 teaspoon vanilla
·  2 eggs
·  2 cups chocolate chipsDirections:
Beat butter, sugars and vanilla.
Add flour, baking soda, salt.
Add one egg at a time mixing thoroughly.
Stir in chocolate chips.

Place the cookie dough inside of the pie crust and using your fingers or a spoon, spread it so that it evenly coats the bottom of the crust. Mine was about an inch thick; I ended up having enough to actually fill 2 pie crusts.
Next, mix your cake batter according to the directions on the box. Once mixed up, divide between the 2 crusts.
Place the pies in the oven and bake for 35-45 min (may even take longer depending on your oven).While the pies are cooling whip up some Frosting:
Ingredients
· 3 cups confectioners’ sugar
· 1 cup butter, semi-softened
· 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
· 1 or 2 Tablespoons whipping cream
Directions
In a standing mixer fitted with a whisk, mix together sugar and butter. Mix on low speed until well blended and then increase speed to medium and beat for another 3 minutes.Add vanilla and cream and continue to beat on medium speed for 1 minute more, adding more cream if needed for spreading consistency

You could also make it with peanut butter cookie dough, chocolate cake, and peanut butter frosting!

Cookie Cake Pie

Ingredients:
·   2 frozen deep dish pie crusts
·   1 batch chocolate chip cookie dough
·   1 batch of your favorite cake mix (I used Funfetti!)
·   1 batch of buttercream (or any other flavor) buttercream
Preheat the oven to 350°
First prepare one batch of chocolate chip cookie dough
Ingredients:
·  2 1/4 cups flour
·  1 teaspoon baking soda
·  1 teaspoon salt
·  1 cup butter
·  3/4 cup granulated sugar
·  3/4 cup brown sugar
·  1 teaspoon vanilla
·  2 eggs
·  2 cups chocolate chips

Directions:
Beat butter, sugars and vanilla.
Add flour, baking soda, salt.
Add one egg at a time mixing thoroughly.
Stir in chocolate chips.
Place the cookie dough inside of the pie crust and using your fingers or a spoon, spread it so that it evenly coats the bottom of the crust. Mine was about an inch thick; I ended up having enough to actually fill 2 pie crusts.
Next, mix your cake batter according to the directions on the box. Once mixed up, divide between the 2 crusts.
Place the pies in the oven and bake for 35-45 min (may even take longer depending on your oven).

While the pies are cooling whip up some Frosting:
Ingredients
· 3 cups confectioners’ sugar
· 1 cup butter, semi-softened
· 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
· 1 or 2 Tablespoons whipping cream
Directions
In a standing mixer fitted with a whisk, mix together sugar and butter. 
Mix on low speed until well blended and then increase speed to medium and beat for another 3 minutes.
Add vanilla and cream and continue to beat on medium speed for 1 minute more, adding more cream if needed for spreading consistency

You could also make it with peanut butter cookie dough, chocolate cake, and peanut butter frosting!

(Source: blog.smockedauctions.com)

recipes dessert cookies cake pie